“When They come courting” post-con post

As promised, here is the text of my presentation on spirit marriage and etc. at Many Gods West: “When They come courting.” It includes the sources I used as well as a bigger “resources” section with things I couldn’t fit in at all. I’ve also included an Acknowledgements section, because I got a lot of help, both from friends and from years of reading what people on this path long before me have said.

The presentation was received well, and I’m pleased that a number of people told me afterwards that it was useful and interesting! I also know there were several other people who were interested in being there, but had other conflicts. (The number who did show up – 14 or 15 – was just about right for my comfort level. I had two fears going in about audience size: that only a couple people would show up, or there’d be, like, 50.)

I had slides prepared which I wasn’t able to show, and I think things went fine without them. However, I’d found a bunch of images that I found evocative of different aspects of the pagan experience that I still want to share, and collecting them online means I can add a few more than I had in the slides, so here, follow this link.

The time restriction was also tough: there were a lot of things I wanted to say more about and I had to really simplify the historical and non-pagan examples. There is a huge amount of complexity and richness in all of that, and for anyone interested in this subject, I strongly recommend reading more about it! My top general recommendations are Emma Wilby’s Cunning Folk and Familiar Spirits and the dissertation “Marrying Jesus: Brides and the bridegroom in medieval women’s religious literature;” of all the non-pagan reading I’ve done, those have been the most meaningful for me, and not just for marriage-related reasons.

I’ve been toying with the idea of doing an expanded and revised version of the document so I can put in more on some of those examples, and include a few other examples that I couldn’t work in AT ALL. There were also several parts of the pagan section I wanted to say more about. I didn’t really get into the sexual aspect that can exist in such relationships, like what purposes sexual connection serves (there can be many, including “some spirits really like that energy”). We’ll see if that happens . . .

However, and this is very exciting, I spent some time over the weekend talking with someone who has experience with faery lovers in the context of traditional witchcraft, who said they’d been thinking about doing an anthology on that subject. I have also been thinking for a while that a book on spirit marriage, godspousery, etc., would be great, but I do NOT want to write it (it would take years to do the research, and I do not want to do years of research!), so I was thinking anthology thoughts. So we’re talking about putting something like this together, to cover a broad range of experiences, which would be really awesome. I’ll post updates when there’s something to update about it.

Advertisements

MGW summary

I write “summary” but let’s be real, it’s not going to be all that brief.

I had a really, really great weekend. Some of it I am sure I am going to be processing, and continuing to benefit from, for a very long time. I got some things I wanted from it, and some things I really needed; some of it I hadn’t dared hope for and other things I really could not anticipate (but the nature of such events is such that I do anticipate that unanticipated surprises will happen).

There were a lot of great-sounding presentations that I opted not to go to because the alternative was to spend time with people whose company I really enjoyed. Even with that, there were several people I wish I could have talked with more. I know that is the nature of these events, and I go into them expecting it (as well as the inevitable “these two presentations both sound amazing and they are scheduled at the same time!!”) but I feel obligated to complain about insufficient time for all the things regardless.

One of the first presentations I went to was “Embodied Practice and Devotion.” A part of that was experiential; we got comfortable in a still position of our choice and then tuned into how our bodies wanted to move or adjust. Then we were instructed to tune into whatever spirits were around us who wanted to engage with us, to feel how our bodies reacted to their presence, and to then move into a position that we felt would bring us into a closer connection with Them. The first deity I was aware of was Loki, no surprise, but there was Someone else with Him, and then Loki kind of disappeared. The other deity is one I’ve had a relationship with for years, and it’s often been a very uncomfortable relationship; some aspects of it have been incredibly distressing. Anyway, when I figured out how to get my body configured right, She said something to me and I had an immediate response to that, to Her, from what felt like something deeper than my heart, from my very core, to Her, that left me in tears. It was still . . . positive. I’m going to have to revisit it, probably a lot; I think there’s a lot of stuff to unpack there.

I’ve read about how different trance positions can open a person up to very specific experiences, but I’ve never tried any of the recorded positions, or tried to find any specific to Powers I know myself, so it was really interesting to experience something like that. I’ve mentally filed this away as something that would be interesting to explore with Others, but also as something I am nervous to explore with Others.

I also have homework after a fashion from the presentation/workshop on “Apotheosis: An Exploration of Your Mortal and Immortal Personae.” I’ve read Thenea’s blog posts on the topic in the past, but actually going through some of her suggested practices was useful, and having started, I think I want to try and get even more out of it. It also feels like something I need to do, given both some long-standing trends in my practice as well as some more recent realizations. I am really uneasy about it, but. It may be better to throw myself off those cliffs rather than wait to be thrown, you know?

I went to the “Advancing Devotional Practice” discussion; I went to it at Pantheacon, too, but since it was a discussion I figured it wouldn’t end up a repeat experience, and it wasn’t. It was interesting, though I don’t know that I personally got a lot out of it, but it was very well attended (I’m pretty sure there more people than at Pcon) and the discussion went very well.

I also went to another presentation I’ve seen before, “Three Tales of Devotion,” about the mystics/poets Sri Andal, Akka Mahadevi, and Mirabai. It was mid-afternoon on Sunday, and I was very, very tired, and the stories about these women are really lovely, and that was just the right speed for where I was Sunday afternoon.

The summaries given from the opening session sounded good – I went off with the neurodivergent group, but I got the impression that all of the groups had really good discussions. It is now too far in the past for me to be able to summarize any of it. (I was pretty well-rested on Friday, but that did not last long, and I’m not fully put back together yet.)

I was sad the Mni Wiconi presentation had a relatively small group of attendees. The work the presenters were there to discuss is so important, to me personally as well as, well, globally. But the presentations and discussion were good, and I came away from it with some ideas about other ways to get more involved.

I was also sad that the public altar I set up was not interacted with more, but what I did see there from other people was very moving. And, when I visited it at one point on Sunday, I saw that someone had placed a paper crane on it. There’d been a workshop that morning, “Senbazuru: One Thousand Cranes for Peace,” and then there were cranes left on each of the public altars. My feelings are really too big for words, but I’m tearing up over it again.

After I took the altar down, and was changing back into normal clothes, the Power who had guided the setup of the altar come forward with a few words about what I had done. (They may have been the first words I’ve ever gotten from that Power, in fact; the previous communications were more like gentle ‘yes’ or ‘no’ nudges in various directions.) And. Um. I find myself repeatedly floored by how what seems like very much “not enough” to me, wholly inadequate to the immensity of what I perceive is still meaningful to Them.

My presentation on spirit marriage went very well!! But I’m going to do a separate post on all that. I’ve given myself a deadline of Wednesday of this week.

Also, the conference, or wyrd, or the Powers, or whatever, conspired to pitch a significant curveball at me. I had not even expected baseball to be on the agenda!! But it was fine. It was actually good. I lost some sleep thinking over it but I knew how I wanted to handle it, and I did, and it was fucking amazing. Apparently I have learned how to baseball without knowing that learning was happening.

Finally, my Spouses were an incredible source of support at times leading up to the con. They have told me repeatedly They are here for me, and I admit I am very good at not asking for help, but when I do, They are amazing, and I am really, really grateful for how They help. Even when I don’t ask for things, They are amazing. I know Loki in particular had something to do with some of the good things that happened this weekend, and I am overwhelmed by how loved I feel.

Altar for extinct species and ecological losses at Many Gods West

I will be setting up a public altar at Many Gods West this year for honoring extinct species, destroyed places, and other ecological losses.

There will be two parts to it: one small-scale Life Cairn, and a Memorial Wall where people can post writing or artwork.

The Life Cairn at this altar will differ from the original Life Cairn (see also Life Cairn on Facebook and this essay from a founder of the first one). For one, it will be small and, unfortunately, temporary. In addition, the original Life Cairns are for honoring extinct species, but for the conference, this Life Cairn can also be used to honor other ecological losses (mountaintops destroyed for coal, the forest you played in as a child that’s been turned into a housing tract, etc.). There will be stones and marking implements provided (marking the stones is not required, just an option). The materials – unfired clay and charcoal pencils – have been selected to have a low impact on the earth when the memorial is reverted to the land after the conference.

The Memorial Wall of the space will function as a place for people to leave writing, artwork, photos, etc., acknowledging losses as an alternative to – or in addition to – contributing to the Life Cairn. There will be some paper and pens/pencils provided, but people are also welcome to bring photos, drawings, or other lightweight, flat materials from home. People may reclaim what they leave here at the end of the conference (or when they need to depart); anything that is left when it is taken down will be handled in a respectful manner.

If it was a novel, it would have been foreshadowing

I know, looking back makes it easier to see the trail that got you here, but some of those bread crumbs really were much more meaningful than I assumed at the time.

1.

Four years ago, about a week before I left Boston, Odin showed up. During our first conversation, He asked me where I saw myself in five years.

“Well, Portland, I guess.”

There was no response. Okay, good enough, I guess.

More tentatively, “And – doing architecture . . . ?”

“No,” He said. “Landscape.” (This was slightly distressing to hear but not a total surprise.)

2.

I’ve often felt, cycling or walking or driving through Portland, that I was not just moving through the city, but just passing through. I’ve kind of always felt a . . . not-quite-here feeling.

I haven’t been involved in pretty much any of the social or cultural scenes here, despite having been an active volunteer with several organizations, two of them for over 3 years each. I’ve been much more interested in all the plants growing here than the people-stuff.

But, well, I was more fascinated by the gardens some people had in Boston than some of the social stuff, so that feeling of “just passing through” wasn’t anything I paid (enough) attention to.

Even after it would have made more sense to.

3.

This was blatant and clear:

Two years ago, trying to help me cope with some great distress, They said, “Think of this place as a way station.”

This was a few days after I had a visit with one of Them, associated with a place about 200 miles from here. I went there to ask for some insight into an encounter with Them/that place the previous years, which involved an utterly overwhelming sense of “welcome home” from the forest around me. “Home?” . . . I had never lived in that area, I’d maybe been there once before in my life.

So this Power explained. “It is our desire to bring you home.”

The implications that could have for some of my Portland-area relationships were devastating at the time. (Now I do not think it will be disruptive; then I was a mess.)

Shortly after the “way side” conversation, I dreamed an enormous scaled and clawed hand gently plucked the back of my shirt between claw tips, lifted me, and set me down in some other hilly foresty landscape than what I’d been scrambling over.

It was a comforting dream.

I assumed I’d have more time here; I never put Odin’s non-response into context with this until very recently.

Fool.

4.

When I lived in Boston and would come home to Oregon to visit family, I flew in to the Boise airport.

During the drive home, we’d pass through many miles of very dry, sagebrushy landscape. Some parts had awesome views of hills in the distance. I loved seeing this landscape. “It’s good to be home,” was the general sense of my feelings.

I didn’t grow up in that landscape, it was never home; I grew up surrounded by agricultural fields on former grasslands and marsh. So, a silly thought, probably just tied to “Idaho” and “en route to home in Oregon” being just as good as being home, compared to Boston.

But has “home I grew up in” felt like a place I would want to return to now? I love it so much, and I’ve asked myself that often over the last few years – no. It makes me very sad, but it doesn’t feel like my place.

5.

This one sounds really ridiculous to me but for many, many years I’ve thought of myself as “really probably a desert creature.” Because I like heat; I can adapt well to it. And I like dry heat. (I did grow up in a dry place, with hot summers and chilly nights, though I never thought of it as a desert.)

So: now I am going home. To the sagebrush and desert east of the big mountains. Close to the magnificent and heart-wrenching Ponderosa pine forests. Not quite as far as the forest that reached out to me three years ago, but – close enough, I guess? I never checked up on precisely what that Power meant by “home.” I assumed it meant “near those mountains” but . . .

Anyway. Perhaps in the future I will pay more attention to things like odd “gaps” in conversation, or weird answers, or pay more attention to odd thoughts I have about the places I am in. But sometimes I have wondered, when I’ve looked back at assumptions I never questioned – do They ever nudge me to just a tiny bit of forgetfulness, or to not caring enough to ask too many more questions, because it’s better if I don’t get a high-resolution roadmap earlier?

Five years on

I saw a post recently on Tumblr in which the original poster was making an attempt to list what sorts of magic/energy work/etc. skills, techniques, etc., ought to be considered basic, intermediate, and advanced. Some of it seemed reasonable, but there was plenty there that really made no sense to me (talking to deities: on the advanced list; ummmm why? that was my first basic step, and I know that’s also true for lots of other people). I suppose there are a LOT of ways people can take their first step into witchy/pagan ventures, and thus a lot of ways to go from Beginner to Advanced, but at any rate, it got me thinking about what sort of progress I’ve made over the last five years. Because it’s been five years and change since I set out the door, literally, to try out this polytheism thing, and WELL. It’s brought a lot of other things with it.

But I can’t say I feel like I’m an advanced anything.

I feel pretty confident and comfortable with how my relationships with my Spouses are (“pretty confident” is not the same as “100%”). So there’s definitely been advancement there!

My divination skills are way better than they used to be; I’m pretty comfortable reading cards intuitively vs strictly by-the-book, though sometimes I do turn to the book when I feel stumped. I’m also comfortable just pulling cards as needed, rather than needing the structure of a spread to answer questions; lots of spirit communication happens this way – pull cards and lay them out as needed.

I’ve also started to learn Lenormand and geomancy in the last year. Those are both fun! Lenormand is something of a challenge because it isn’t supposed to be read intuitively, and memorizing the cards’ meanings, and how to relate them to each other in spreads, is kind of slow going.

I’ve never done much witchcraft or other forms of magic, so my skills there are, like, whatever. LOL. Ad hoc, and I’ve no idea how successful they’ve been (for some of the things I’ve worked on, I seemed to get results, but how can I tell if that was truly my doing).

One of my biggest frustrations has been the seeming lack of advancement of my visionary skills, or perhaps only minimal improvement. I learned real early on how to “daydream” and let that become the platform for an encounter/communication with a god/other spirit, but while that is a SUPER USEFUL technique, 99% of the time that feels less “real” and vivid than most of my regular old dreams. (Not that the encounters themselves feel unreal; they are plenty real, sometimes VERY VERY IMPACTFUL, they are just mostly in black and white, and lack some of the other details I experience in real dreams.)

Part of my frustration comes from the fact that various Powers have done things to me that apparently were supposed to improve some of my “communication” skills, but I’ve never noticed any immediate change. Perhaps it’s something that, for me, requires lots of adjustments over a long period for there to BE a noticeable difference? I should ask.

I have noticed, in the last year, an increase in the number of not-really-dreams I’ve had during my first few hours asleep in which spirits who are not Loki have been showing up and communicating/interacting with me. Is this because something about my skills have changed, or did some other barrier get shifted?

I’ve also noticed that certain dreams in the last year have been WAY more vivid in particular ways than those types of dreams ever used to be. But again, I’m not sure why.

I haven’t been putting much into trying to improve a lot of skills, either. So much of my energy has been burned up just with my (now former) job, and trying to survive, that even contemplating doing more stuff – trance techniques, whatever – felt exhausting. And, you know, what I’ve been able to do seems like it’s been plenty good for what I’ve needed to do, so I haven’t had a lot of motivation to put more effort into any of it.

A total noob I am not, but I also don’t really give a shit if I’m considered “intermediate” or “advanced” or whatever.

I’m also curious about what the next few months or year might bring. Pretty sure some of it may qualify as “advanced” or something (terrific, just what I need). Last fall, the Plant Powers, and some Others, indicated there were some fairly significant tasks and roles They’d like me to take on. Some of this stuff seems like it requires a lot more responsibility than I’ve had for the previous years. I’m sure it will be fine, I just need to figure out what it is. I love plants, so I said I would, and then – typical spirits – They basically stopped talking about it except to indicate more would come when certain other conditions were met.

Some of those conditions seemed to be related to material aspects of my life, and those have undergone some major changes, and are about to undergo more. I left my job near the end of winter, due to being super awfully burned out, and have spent the last few months recovering my physical and mental stamina and considering my next move.

I also realized about a month ago that I need to move out of this city, and NOT to another city, to a much more rural environment in Central Oregon. The landscape there has taken hold of my heart several times in the last few years, some of the spirits told me a couple years ago They wanted me “home,” and now is apparently the time. It hasn’t been an easy realization. I’ve built a life for myself here over the last four years and had hopes and expectations to continue building on some of that. I thought I’d have more years here; as much as I want to be out there, the impending change has been hard to cope with at times.

I am not going back to another fucking desk job. I cannot. (If need required it, I’d temp again, but only that.) There is work I want to do, in a place I love, and these things seem maybe kinda more-than-slightly related to Plant sorts of concerns, so I suppose I’ll get more info from Them about these tasks once I’ve made the move and gotten going with my new life.

It will also be great to be living in a place that feels good, and relaxing, in a way that I can’t find in densely-built places. I’m hoping for further recuperation, and along with that, more involvement with my spirits and the work They have in mind. Might even finally learn what They’ve been slowly working me up to!

“When They come courting” at Many Gods West

So there are some really awesome presentations and rituals planned for Many Gods West this year, again.

I’m scheduled for Sunday morning, for this one: “When They come courting: Spirit marriage and related relationships”

“A presentation on spirit marriage, godspousery, and similar relationships, in two parts. First, I will present examples of such relationships from numerous cultures past and present, drawing on myth, folklore, and contemporary traditions. Secondly, I will provide an overview of experiences of modern consorts, lovers, and spouses of gods and other spirits, focusing primarily on relationships with gods, as those typically get the most attention and draw the most controversy. In this part I will also debunk some misconceptions, discuss struggles people have in those relationships, including problems within the pagan community, and address cultural biases contributing to the problems.”

I am planning on publishing some notes/sources/etc. here after the conference, because I’ve found A LOT MORE stuff in books than I can possibly get into during the presentation (and more than I’m even going to have time to read up on by August), and because I want the information to be available more than just that one time.

So that’s a thing that’s happening.

I’ve done public speaking and presentations before in a variety of contexts, but I’m way more nervous about this one than anything else; I’ve never talked publicly about anything as personal as this – not mentioned in my brief summary is that I am going to talk a bit about my own personal background and experience, to give some context for my perspectives (and what limitations that puts on my perspective). So. That’s. Um. Yeah. Exciting.

Advancement (or something) means a new discomfort zone

For the past few years I’ve been eager, and anxious, and impatient to see some kind of “progress” with different aspects of my spiritual path. Maybe I should say “paths,” plural, because I don’t know if the various “roles” I seem to be filling/learning about/whatever, I don’t know, it’s a mystery are really all part of one big thing, or if they truly are separate things related to separate parts of my life, or separate “groups” of spirits.

Periodically there have been big bursts of Stuff happening that seem like more information about what it is, but not so much about what I should be doing . . . When I’ve gone to divination to get more insight, I have usually gotten some, but almost always it comes with a message or two that says “more will be revealed” and “just wait” and “that’s all for now.”

I don’t do real well with that kind of thing, but I have gotten used to it. Another thing I’ve finally gotten used to – though it’s taken a couple years! – has been how the gods (and other spirits) have indicated They prefer a pretty casual, informal way of relating. No need for big rituals . . . or any rituals . . . no, don’t bother making an offering, I’m just here to give you some advice!

Since earlier this year, when some career-shaped things did not go as I believed they would, I’ve found myself unwilling to ask seriously about timelines any more, at least on that topic. Since starting a permaculture course, I have regained some hope things will work out, and might even work out in the next year, but I can’t bring myself to throw runes or ask for a sign.

Progress in understanding most of the separate paths/roles I’ve been working on has been so slow and sporadic over the past years that I think I’d maybe expected that to keep on being the way of things.

But suddenly, it is not, at least with one category of spiritual stuff: the plant stuff. Or at least some of the plant stuff; I am not sure there is just one “plant stuff” category, but I am also not sure there’s more than one, either.

I had a totally unexpected, and extremely strong, healing interaction with a plant at the beginning of the month, which came just a couple days after realizing there is something pretty major I need to do related to plants. And I’ve started it, but it’s not ready for public announcement yet, though I am SO EXCITED I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S SO GREAT. But it’s not ready.

And so this was/is a big thing! And I expected to be talking to TPTB more about it! Because They are totally into me doing the thing!

And so I was not expecting Them to bring up some other big things on top of that!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *panic*

Yeah, Plantkind wants more from me than “just” the not-ready-for-announcement thing.

I was already struggling a little with my role in dealing with “secret” project, because uhhhh it involves other people, too, right? And um. Yeah. Community stuff + me = hahaha You’re kidding right? Wrong.

Now They’ve indicated other things They want from me, and I /love/ plants and I want them (and Them) to be /happy/ and well-treated and and AAAAAAAAAA but but why do You have to use that term to categorize it? I don’t know that I’ve ever wanted to be considered a “priestess,” but. That’s the word that came up.

Here are some of my struggles with the term: kinda maybe probably implies some more public stuff than I am used to and/or comfortable with. I’ve got 4.5 years of dealing-with-spirits experience, virtually none of it in any kind of human community-facing way. Who the hell am I to do that? (Obvious answer: I’m who They asked. *facepalm*) I don’t know how much actual public work there will be but there’s one of my fears.

It also just doesn’t fit well with my own self-image, my own thoughts about who I am and what it is that I do. I suspect some of this is lingering atheist baggage, but it’s also about the patterns of my spiritual life so far, too, and the expectations I’d created about that pattern continuing. (I see you out there, shaking your head, “Oh, you should not have expectations like that.” I know. And yet.)

And and and it seems probably more formal, at least some of the time, than what I’d (finally) gotten used to as The Way Things Are. (So I am mildly outraged; some of Them made such a point of encouraging “informal,” and now we’re going to this?!)

Then there’s some weird mystical emotional aspects to it. I have some intense relationships with some individual gods and other spirits. I also have some similarly intense feelings towards the land, but it’s only reciprocated via individual trees and other spirits that inhabit rocks and things, not “the land” as a whole (or even in part).

I have a similar kind of “big picture” love for the plants, and it’s most similar to my love for the land in not being about individuals but an entire collective. I have some relationships with individual plant Powers, but They aren’t the ones talking to me about these exciting new jobs-and-projects; I’m being approached by “collectives,” for the most part. (Which seems appropriate, given how plants grow and exist.)

It’s weird having really strong mystical feelings for things-that-aren’t-individuals – and it’s different in getting that reciprocated in various ways. It’s not like my spirit-marriages, but it’s still affection and “We will help you, too!” and kiiiiinda feels kindasorta similar to the marriages in some ways? because I feel like I’m getting swept up in, or am on the verge of getting swept up in, and subsumed in, Intense Mystical Feelings and “of /course/ I want to be with You,” and this time that’s /weird/ because I’m not interacting with a single individual. Or even 2 or 3 different individuals.

I’ve always found it kind of terrifying feeling myself on the verge of giving in to whatever, wherever, those feelings take me, but at least in the past, it was with Powers with, er, individual personalities and “faces” and I had some sense of Who They are. I love plants, but the individual plant Powers I’ve interacted with have tended to feel weird and alien in ways that most of the gods don’t (and They may be arguably “alien” in ways the plants are not! the plants don’t always seem as interested in putting on a human “mask” as gods tend to be).

I’ve had some lengthy, stressy dreams about some of this, too, that tell me part of me is really distressed about taking on responsibility. I imagine this fear will fade once I actually figure out how to do some of the “job duties” They told me They want, though I’ll probably be grappling to accept the job title for a while longer.

These things aren’t 100% surprises. There have been hints going back 3+ years, some more blatant than others, and some of the plant stuff has definitely intensified in the last 12-14 months (I got really into orchids starting about a year ago? and I know the Plants are behind that somehow but I’m not sure why). I can understand why They wouldn’t have told me sooner any specifics: I was definitely not up for human-community stuff until late this summer, and I’ve said many times I didn’t really want a major community kind of role and would in fact FIGHT EVERYONE if They said that’s what They wanted. But, well, here I am, not fighting, just mildly despairing of being capable.

But hey, They seem cool with that; They told me through divination that I’d experience problems and set backs (not quite “you’re gonna fuck up” but I figure that’s part of the message) and it would be okay.

I know there’s more to come, and I have such mixed feelings about it. Need to know more to do things as best I can; am afraid there’s gonna be another “big” reveal.

I know I’ll calm down some once I have real understanding of how this is all going to work out in practice, but I don’t have that yet, so I get to chew on it all anxiously for a while longer.

I’ve read many warnings about how you shouldn’t ask TPTB “when is this stuff going to HAPPEN??” because that might encourage Them to throw you in the deep end, but, well, I’ve steadily ignored all those warnings, and despite feeling angst about having some Stuff Happening (FINALLY), I will undoubtedly continue to ignore those warnings. I’d rather know, and have things to do, than feel vaguely, comfortably lost.

Anyway. Here’s a picture of some of my orchids; the bloom in front is from the orchid that kind got me understanding I have an orchid thing, though it’s not my first orchid:

Foreground: Phalaenopsis flower; background: Dendrobiums (one in bloom), oncidium hybrid, and another phal.